What Being a True Leader Means To Me

I should start by saying that I am not a wealthy CEO of a company.  I do not own a business or proclaim to be a leader in the community.  I am like most people in the world.  I have dreams, I have fears and have made many mistakes in my life.  I have learned from most of them, and others I am still learning to master.  I can only speak of my own personal life experiences and don't claim to "know it all" or have all the answers.  I believe that each and every one of us is unique in our own way and what works for one might not work for the other.   We must each follow our own path and find the "right" answers that best fit who we are in this life.  Those "right" or "wrong" answers will change throughout our lives. after all, just like in nature, nothing stays the same.  We are constantly evolving everyday.  We are morphing every single minute.  What was true for me five years ago is not today, this moment.  I am not the same person I was then.  Our life's experiences give us what is most needed to fully grow into our true potential.  I always say, "don't judge a book by it's cover, but also, don't judge a book by its first few chapters."

When we think of leaders, we imagine those in power, leading countries, jumping off mountains setting world records.  We think of the people who generously donate their time and money to many noble causes around the world.  People that organize walks, or spend a day painting schools, or donate their time helping feed the homeless.  These are the people that change the world and help humanity.  Some of these individuals have come from nothing and overcame challenges in life most of us couldn't dream of dealing with. Their stories inspire us and makes us want to strive to do the same.

What about those that life's struggles drove them to make the "wrong" choices at some points in their lives.  Choices driven by their fears.  We all have them.  I don't care what your title is or who you are in this world, we all have fears.  Some, like I mentioned before, used these fears to drive them forward, and to make a difference in their lives.  Others, unfortunately struggle and it might take them longer to understand the value of their suffering.  They might not have created anything great in their lives career wise, monetary wise or personal relationships.  However, they live their lives from the heart.  They're "heart Leaders"  Maybe not in the "big" way we all expect leaders to do, but how they help and treat others in their everyday life.  It's that person that offers you a smile on the street, the person that stops on the side of the road for you.  The person offers to help carry your groceries to your car.  The person that stops and converses with an old man that sits at a bus bench that most of us ignore.  That person that offers lunch to a homeless person at a fast food restaurant.  I could go on and on talking of all these wonderful people that we encounter everyday and never think twice about.  Yes, they might be poor and in terms of being a "leader of self" have a long journey ahead of them, but their hearts are filled with tremendous love.  There are many different "leaders" in this world.  Some we all see and recognize, others, are invisible to the naked eye.

We are all teachers of  one another in this life.

Being a true "leader" to me, is living my life with courage and getting up everyday no matter what.  Being kind and helpful to others in need even when at times our lives are in turmoil.  We all matter and we should all care to make a difference in this life.  Most of us are not aware that we can all effect a positive change in the world by even the smallest act of kindness.

A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

Why so much hatred towards a group people? haven't we learned as humanity as a whole by the mistakes we have made in the past?  History keeps repeating itself over and over again.  Every time the oppression is towards those that seem "different" than the majority of people but the issues are the same.

To my surprise, many of the people who lead these crusades against others at one point suffered the same persecution. I have many friends that are Jewish, African American, Latinos, Asian, Irish, Christian just to mention a few that are passionate about not giving Gay people equal rights.  They go and vote against my rights, a supposed "friend" of them.  Yet every single group of them have been persecuted before in the history of humanity.  Have they forgotten where they came from? How it felt to be made like you were a second class citizen?   How many of us have these so called friends and family in our lives that tell us they love us but still want to segregate us from the rest of humanity. They feel their fights were different. How were they different? 

True love and respect is not choosing which parts of me you want to like and which you don't. I was born Gay and I can NEVER change that.  Why must we hate those we perceive "different" than us?  Bills like the ones in Arizona and people like Ted Cruz hold humanity back. This is 2014. What's next? Revoking women's right to vote? Racial segregation? Jewish concentration camps?  This is why history keeps repeating itself. We have not learned our lesson and the "test" keeps being brought to our human history.  Same hatred, different faces.  

With so many people dying of starvation, living in poverty, suffering from diseases we can't cure, why must we continue to fight one another?  Abraham Lincoln puts it best "A house divided against itself cannot stand." As long as humanity continues to oppress and segregate other beings, we will NEVER acheive peace in the world.  We must set our priorities straight of what it's important in the world. Love and acceptance or hatred and fear. Our choice. 

We All Matter in this World

We all matter and we all should care about making a difference and bringing people together.

No two people are alike, just like neither are two snowflakes or two grains of sand.  Yet, when they come together they become something bigger and greater.  Snowflakes cover mountain tops and grains of sands become the beaches and deserts of the world.

I believe that if humanity comes together as one embracing our individual uniqueness's and differences, we could accomplish something far greater than we ever imagined.  Like maybe even world peace.

My strengths and weaknesses are different than yours and yours different than mine.  If we learn to work together we become "more complete" like a puzzle where all the individual pieces connect and are needed to complete the whole picture.  By helping others, we help ourselves.

I am no expert, speaker or a successful book author.  I'm just a regular person with dreams, hopes and fears like the rest of humanity.  I make mistakes, fall and get up.. Sometimes I learn right away and others it takes me a few falls before I "get it"  My point is that no matter who we are as individuals right now in our lives, we all can learn something from one another.

Many of the best lessons in my life I have learned from people that have been through "hell" and back and still made a difference in their lives for the better.  I have also learned from others that in similar situations have been through "hell" and their lives did not end up so well.  In both instances I've learned "how to" and "how not to"  That said, I am aware that whatever worked or did not work for another person in similar situations might and might not work for me, we are different individuals with different ideas and views about life.  it is up to us and only us to learn the things that serve us in a positive way and those that don't.  We all need to experience life to the fullest in "happy" and "sad" times.  Embrace every experience, learn from it, grow and move on to the next.

 As I stated before, I am no expert or a "guru" like many call themselves.  Whatever I speak about are from my own personal experiences.  Since I have use of my memory, I always felt a burning desire inside of me to be kind and loving and to always help others in need.  I have grown up with a sense of responsibility to be a "good" person and to treat everyone as equals.  It is something I can't explain and instead of trying to understand it anymore, I've decided to talk about my message of unity to all humanity and not to fear speaking up.

I want all the "hardships" I have faced in my life as an abused little boy, to serve its purpose.  By me learning and growing through my own life experiences and by sharing my story I help others to be strong and to grow through similar experiences.

Each an every person matters in this life.  We need each other to make this a better world for all of humanity.  Hate and indifference just creates more chaos and wars.  If we come together we can create a better life not only for ourselves, but for the future generations that will inherit this earth.  We can't change the world alone, but if we change ourselves and those around us, they in return will do the same, and our actions will ripple throughout the world.

Be kind to each other, love and respect all living things.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi